There are many reasons that two people decide to get married: companionship, desire for children, finances, and the most common reason, of course, is love. Unfortunately, people can fall “out of love” easily or easier than “fall in love.”
Many studies have been done to show the top reasons for divorce. There are also statistics showing the percentage of divorces throughout the years. When you are thinking about getting a divorce, you probably aren’t interested in those studies or statistics, but there are a few things that you should consider when you contemplate getting a divorce. There are as many reasons for divorce as there are couples, but below are ten things to consider when considering a divorce.
STEPS TO TAKE WHEN THINKING ABOUT A DIVORCE
- Is your mind playing tricks on you?
Are you sure that you want a divorce? Perhaps you’ve had “one too many arguments” and threatened your spouse with divorce. Couples will always have disagreements, and some are worse than others. If you have had a particularly nasty altercation, you may think that your marriage is over. You think that things cannot go on, and you are ready to end the entire relationship. Be sure that you have weighed all possibilities before making a firm decision to divorce – marriage counselors and/or clergy members might be able to help you and your spouse to reconcile and stay together. You may have chosen hastily, and your union can be saved.
- Are you in an abusive relationship, physically or mentally?
If you are always afraid of being around your spouse, there’s a good chance that you are being “abused.” If you always have to watch what you say and do because “something” could set off an abusive action towards you or perhaps a child, that’s a real sign of abuse. You need to protect yourself and your children if this is the situation. Even though you think you are strong enough to “handle” things, there is never a guarantee that things will improve and your could be putting yourself and your children in harm’s way. As popular newspaper columnist Ann Landers has often questioned: “Are you better off with him/her or without him/her?” If you fear for your safety or even your life, the answer is clear.
- Do you have minor children? How will they be impacted if you get a divorce?
If you and your spouse are constantly arguing or fighting, consider the effect that is having on your children. Even if you try to hide the arguments from your children, they know what’s going on and it is impacting their lives. They often feel that they cause their parents problems. Always consider their feelings and try to answer their questions, and remember that your decision will greatly affect them as much as it will affect you.
- Is the “magic” gone?
Are you still in love with your spouse? Unfortunately, many couples do fall out of love. It could be that the bond was not strong, to begin with, or your lives have gone in different ways or there is so much stress that you are “blaming” the other one for any and all problems that come up. If there is any doubt, reconsider, and perhaps you might try and work it out. Sometimes a marriage counselor is helpful as well as considering a long hard look at your priorities and lifestyle.
- Finances are always a large part of the equation.
If you decide on divorce, you will need access to money. Will this be a problem? Can you afford to hire an Akron divorce lawyer? If you’re a stay-at-home mom, will you need to get a job? Will you need child care? If there is debt in your marriage, how will that be handled? And of course, there is always the question of Spousal Support and/or child support. Will you be the recipient or will you be responsible for those payments?
- When you begin to consider a divorce, should you confide in your friends or family?
In this day and age, social media is both a blessing and a curse. If you decide to vent your concerns, stop and think about who will see this, and remember that anything you say online will be there forever. If you want to talk with family and friends, remember that they have their own opinions and you could be ostracized from close relationships if you are not on the “right side” of the divorce. This could be especially true with family members. There is also a chance that your children will be pulled into “choosing sides” by disgruntled relatives or friends.
- Are you prepared to begin the process of divorce?
Does your state have specific rules? Do you know if there are different types of divorce? Because this is a difficult and emotional time in your life, you might want to consult partners counseling or a therapist, either alone or with your spouse. You might even try taking a “time out” to think about your decision. Perhaps you might talk with a financial advisor or child therapist or a real estate broker.
- As you can see, there are many questions to ask before making the final decision to file for divorce. Many couples can’t or won’t communicate, so one of the most important determinations is choosing an attorney. A good divorce lawyer will help you make this most important decision in your life. The law firm of Slater & Zurz is prepared to answer your questions about the entire divorce process. You can call them for a free consultation at 888.534.4850. Their divorce attorneys are prepared to answer all your questions.
- There will be changes.
Consider all the changes that will happen should you decide to file for divorce. Have you ever paid the bills before? If you have never done this, can you? If you have to find a job, who will watch the children if you need to work during the hours when they will be home? Will you be able to keep your home, or will you have to move out, leaving the residence for your spouse and/or your children? Perhaps you will even have to sell your home. Make a list of things you think could be potential problems as your life changes.
- Collect as much information as you can.
Information that will be useful to you if you decide to pursue your goal of obtaining a divorce is plentiful. Make sure that you are sure about this life-changing decision. Working knowledge of your finances is always a good idea. If possible, talk with your spouse and discuss what your options are about housing, child custody and/or child support, visitation, Spousal Support, and finances. If that’s not a possibility, then turn to a financial advisor, a clergy member or an attorney.
- Finding a good divorce attorney.
When you feel there are no other options for your relationship, you should find a good divorce lawyer who can help you sort out all the legal ramifications included in a divorce. The divorce lawyers at Slater & Zurz are always available to help you answer your questions and lead you to a responsible decision about your questions about divorce.
The decision to get a divorce shouldn’t be taken lightly. During this emotional time of your life, you need to feel that you have entrusted your future to someone that you can trust. This decision will affect you and your children (if there are children involved) for the rest of your life.